Three ways how to lose the heart of your Children
A study was done years ago in which Christian young people were asked “what was the greatest pressure they struggled with”. While most thought that it would be obeying rules at home thinking that they were too hard to obey. The majority of those polled answered that it was the influence of the world in their lives not the rules. Across America parents are throwing their children to the world when they lower their hopefully godly standards.
When children struggle with the family standards, it is a symptom that they have been influenced by the world, which is a root problem of rejecting God’s standard!
There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12
When the world suggests us to do one thing, God’s ways will usually be the opposite. Here are a few of the ways parents can lose the heart of the children.
1. Parents being divided in the way that their children should be dealt with.
This is probably one of main issues in dealing with a rebel. Whoever is the weakest of the parent they will draw to because they will be the one they can get the most out of. Many times that parent will think they are helping them but they are only allowing them to be just like the world. They are also teaching them to be deceptive by keeping things away from the stronger parent. If this continues it will eventually cause the stronger parent to yield to the weaker standard.
Recently I saw several families that at one time held to Godly standards, once one of the parents lowered the standard the other came under attack thinking they were being too strong. Eventually the standard was dropped and the world system won another victory.
Fathers need to communicate to their children God’s standards. It is so sad when I hear young people say after they had been influence by the world. “I just can’t live up to my parents standards, when actually they are God’s standard.
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Colossians 3:20
When the house is divided between parents the children will usually despise the one they should listen to and go to the one that is bringing in the problem.
No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. Matthew 6:24
Most of the time the one who has the lower standard usually has an issue that has never been dealt with or has rebelled against. Sometimes the one who has the higher standard has failed in that area when they were young and can see the same weakness in their own child. Parents need to come together and determine standards that can be agreed on that have a biblical foundation.
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Ephesians 5:21
2. Allowing ungodly video and music into the Home
When rock music is brought into the home it will desensitize the family from having godly standards and it will increase rebellion in the family because Rock Music is derived from Rebellion against God (Sex Drugs & Rock n Roll are always named together). In a Christian home the worst of these is Contemporary Christian Music (CCM). This music has been responsible for destroying most of the homes and churches in Christendom in this generation. I challenge parents to check out the life styles of those of the music that their children listen to whether Christian or secular.
Ye shall know them by their fruits … Matthew 7:16
Many will say that it doesn’t matter what they do in their personal lives, but God says it does!
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. Proverbs 20:11
Most of the performer has a goal or vision and it comes out through their music. Many of the top CCM performers are involved in fornication, adultery, perversion, drugs and even witchcraft. One group was shocked that they were one of the top five groups on the CCM charts being that they were not even Christian but their songs indicated that they were anti-Christian.
Movies like music are so destructive because they also desensitize our society not only through the ear gate but the eye as well. One time at a person’s house I looked at their face while they were watching a movie, and was amazed at the almost hypnotic trance they were in. Prior to the 1960’s the movie industry was like a chained monster that was slowly breaking away from its boundaries. Then during the sixties it broke, influencing the families across America devouring and desensitizing all that came in its path.
A generation ago we did not have to worry about profanity coming off the Television, now we have curse free devices.
3. Children who are struggling are sent away from home unless the parent is the problem
Some parents send their children off to camps, schools and meetings hoping they will wake up from their struggles. This sounds right but again it violates God’s word.
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself (includes being sent away from parental authority) bringeth his mother to shame. Proverbs 29:15
Young people should only leave the home when they have demonstrated in their life responsibility and only for short periods until they marry.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
It so amazing how much our society has forgotten in one generation. People think we are weird when we still have our 21 year old daughter still at home, but 40 years ago America was watching shows like “Bonanza” or “Big Valley” which portrayed grown men and women still living with their parent until they married.
There is no problem a parent can’t overcome through God’s word concerning their children. This is because God ordained the parent and not other ministries. When the parents are the problem or they are looking for godly counsel, then there are opportunities for ministries to reach out.
We live in a world were everyone has his or her opinion of what is right and wrong. We are encouraged to respect that. What we have forgotten is what about what God thinks is right and wrong. As a Christian we are put are lives under His word and therefore build our lives and standards on his principals and not the world’s.
Paul had a servant named Demas who he referred to: Marcus, Aristarchus, Demas, Lucas, my fellow labourers. Philemon 1:24
Prior to Paul’s death he referred to Demas as: For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world… II Timothy 4:10
Near the end of the First century, the apostle John warned Christians in his day of one of the greatest dangers;
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. I John 2:15
How does anyone get to heaven?
First realize that they cannot get to heaven on their own merits. The Bible says that “For all have sinned and come short (that means everybody can’t get to Heaven on their own) of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23)
Jesus Christ (who is the Son of the living God) came to earth and was born of a virgin woman (therefore he was not born of the curse of mankind) he lived a sinless life and died on a cross for all the sins in the world. Three days later, God the Father raised Him from the dead. He was seen of 500 witnesses and returned to heaven. God’s word says that if we believe these things and call upon the Lord, we will be saved. Romans 10:9 - 13